Random enough to be declared weird.

Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Manzar-Nigari

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Aik mash`hoor politician ko jab jaan se marne ki dhamkian mileen to unke ghar ke bahar nigrani aur tahaffuz kelye do security guard rakh choray gaye pehle din jab raat main aik afsar un guard se report lene aya to afsar aur aik guard ke darmyan guftugu kuch yunh huwi:

Afsar: Aaj ki report do
Guard: Sir, sahab jee aaj ghar se naheen nikle, aik surkh rang ki car do baar ayee thee, haweli ke compound main aik mulazim taqreeban aadhe ghante tak munh se tabla baja baja ke filmi geet gata raha, devdas, tezaab, aur kuch amitab bachchan ki movies ke bhi ganay, phir giara bajay aik nihayat shaukh aur alhar kisam ki sahiba haweli main dakhil huween, un ke bayen gaal per siah rang ka ubhra howa sa til tha, chehra bezvi, aankhain sharbati, qad sarhe char aur panch fut ke darmyan main
Afsar: shabash, har cheez ko bohat ghoar se dekha hay, tum jald taraqqi karoge
Afsar: car jo dau baar ayee thee uska number kia tha?
Guard: us per to dhian naheen dia janab

(Original Idea: Purisrar Cheenkhein, Imran Series No 3 – Ibn-e-Safi

Crime Credit

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<Wizard> I met a guy who was jailed in US for 18 years
<lameKid> woah what did he do?
<Wizard> Nothing :d
<lameKid> huh?
<Wizard> yeah nothing, he was innocent and he was released after his innocence was proved
<lameKid> but he lost 18 years!!
<Wizard> that’s what I said, I asked him what are you going to do now
<Wizard> he said nothing
<Wizard> I’m like huh! let me tell you this if I do 18 years in jail for something I didn’t do
<Wizard> when I get out I am going to do something!
<Wizard> that’s 18 years credit
<Wizard> I have already done the time now it’s time to do the crime
<Wizard> I gotta crime credit card, I am gonna go commit crime and swipe *zoop*
<Wizard> Give me your money old lady *zoop* that’s right I am not wearing a mask
<Wizard> tell them it was me the credit card bandit
<Wizard> I’ll be back in court next day the judge will say
<Wizard> “it says here you robbed an old lady, that’s 4 year”
<Wizard> I say yeah that’s 4 year just take them off my card, now I got 14 left
<Wizard> now hurry I have a lot more stuff to do banks to rob, whores to pimp, crack to sell
<Wizard> I told you I didn’t did anything in the first place
<Wizard> you know what *bam* here 1 year for hitting an officer on duty, *zoop*
<Wizard> and don’t let me use rest of this card up here in this court
<StoryTeller> Wizard Dude you should really cut down on caffeine
<lameKid> lol

Original joke by: Ian Edwards

Coming Soon

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Constipated

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<Wizard> but seriously, you should have seen that!
<lameKid> well I missed it, but I can imagine πŸ˜€
<StoryTeller> duh, IDGAC about that
<lameKid> what’s IDGAC?
<StoryTeller> I don’t give a crap
<lameKid> why? :S
<Wizard> lK ST ko qabz hogaya hay πŸ˜›
<lameKid> lol now that’s lame!!

WWE: 8 Finishers in 1 minute 32 seconds

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Superstars:
Undertaker, Booker T, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam (RVD), Kane, Shane McMahon, Big Show, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin

Finishers:
Chokeslam Undertaker TO Stone Cold Steve Austin
Angle Slam
Kurt Angle TO Undertaker
5 star frog splash
Rob Van Dam TO Chris Jericho
Chokeslam
Kane TO Rob Van Dam
Chair Punch
Big Show TO Shane McMahon
Angle Slam
Kurt Angle TO Big Show
Rock Bottom
The Rock TO Kurt Angle
Stone Cold Stunner Β Β  – Stone Cold Steve Austin TO The Rock

Trademarks
Cheap Shot Shane McMahon TO KaneRoundhouse Kick +
Bulldog + LionsaultΒ Β  –
Chris Jericho TO Booker T
Thrust kick Booker T TO Undertaker

Other Appearences:
Vince McMahon

Music / Song:
I Don’t Wanna Stop – Ozzy Osbourne (From the album Black Rain)

So what happens next?

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<lameKid> So what do you think about YPP?
<StoryTeller> Salman will definitely win
<Wizard> most probably
<lameKid> But there is nothing to win, who so ever gets selected by voting will be working for Pakistan, and if he works with his full heart it will be a win for Pakistan
<Wizard> well that’s a good idea, lets put personal gains and favoritism aside and think about the country first
<lameKid> isn’t that the whole point of this show?
<StoryTeller> well kind of
<StoryTeller> so what were you talking about
<lameKid> I meant do you think they will get to do more shows?
<lameKid> and more importantly do you think they will do what people are expecting now?
<lameKid> or it’s just talk talk no walk?
<StoryTeller> achay sawalat hain
<Wizard> they can’t be answered that easily
<Wizard> we will have to wait and watch
<lameKid> I already know that, but phir bhi what do you guys think
<StoryTeller> seriously it’s too early to say anything
* Wizard quit (Ping timeout)
<lameKid> chalo Wizard ki to batti gul hogayee
<StoryTeller> gul πŸ˜› aaj kal bara gul gul kar raha hay πŸ˜›
<lameKid> abay ja bhai aik baar baat kia karli g-girl se tum to peeche hee par gaye :/
* StoryTeller quit (Quit: haan bhai ab to yaheeh kahoge :P)

correct yet useless answer

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<Guest-3356> aur, aap loag kahan rehte ho?
<Wizard> Garden West
<Guest-3356> yeh kidher hay?
<Wizard> Garden East east main hay, aur Garden West west main hay
<lameKid> lol
<StoryTeller> dimagh chal ria hay tera

what a relief!

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From last few weeks, I had the feeling that I am in love thank god it was just gas

drawing

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<lameKid> I just won a drawing competition
<Wizard> huh? but you can’t draw
<lameKid> I know!! but I still won πŸ˜€
<Wizard> hmm
<StoryTeller> what kind of a competition was that?
<lameKid> a simple one
<StoryTeller> I mean rules etc?
<lameKid> ah there was just one rule “Draw anything, it can be anything simple but your drawing should be faultless”
<StoryTeller> and you still won?
<Wizard> tumne kia banaya?
<lameKid> dabba :>
<StoryTeller> lol

Dino Ali – Suno Zara

2 Comments

<Wizard> what is it?
<StoryTeller> it’s supposed to be a music album
<Wizard> oh so who is the singer?
<StoryTeller> Dino Ali
<Wizard> but he is not a singer
<StoryTeller> apparently — he is a pathetic one but he is
<Wizard> aah link?
<StoryTeller> You really want to listen? :S
<Wizard> yeah, why not?
<lameKid> my ears are bleeding now DAMN
<Wizard> lK why?
<lameKid> I just listened to his song on youtube DAMN
<StoryTeller> that’s what I meant wizard πŸ˜›
<Wizard> is it that bad?
<StoryTeller> err okay go listen: http://dacoolsite.com/songs/Pakistani_Pop_Albums/Dino_Ali/Suno_Zara_(2008)/

around 30 minutes later

* Wizard quit (Quit: )

later that day:

* Wizard joins #chat
<Wizard> DAMMMN
<Wizard>
<Wizard> you ain’t going to say “told you?”
<lameKid> no, why will I say that? πŸ˜›
<Wizard> BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS DO?
<lameKid> lol fine, “told you :P”
<StoryTeller> Wizard try Jimmy Attre as well πŸ˜›
<lameKid> haha Akaile kaheen na jaana zamana najuk hay πŸ˜›
<Wizard> no thanks, I have suffered enough for today