Random enough to be declared weird.

Posts Tagged ‘logs’

Crime Credit

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<Wizard> I met a guy who was jailed in US for 18 years
<lameKid> woah what did he do?
<Wizard> Nothing :d
<lameKid> huh?
<Wizard> yeah nothing, he was innocent and he was released after his innocence was proved
<lameKid> but he lost 18 years!!
<Wizard> that’s what I said, I asked him what are you going to do now
<Wizard> he said nothing
<Wizard> I’m like huh! let me tell you this if I do 18 years in jail for something I didn’t do
<Wizard> when I get out I am going to do something!
<Wizard> that’s 18 years credit
<Wizard> I have already done the time now it’s time to do the crime
<Wizard> I gotta crime credit card, I am gonna go commit crime and swipe *zoop*
<Wizard> Give me your money old lady *zoop* that’s right I am not wearing a mask
<Wizard> tell them it was me the credit card bandit
<Wizard> I’ll be back in court next day the judge will say
<Wizard> “it says here you robbed an old lady, that’s 4 year”
<Wizard> I say yeah that’s 4 year just take them off my card, now I got 14 left
<Wizard> now hurry I have a lot more stuff to do banks to rob, whores to pimp, crack to sell
<Wizard> I told you I didn’t did anything in the first place
<Wizard> you know what *bam* here 1 year for hitting an officer on duty, *zoop*
<Wizard> and don’t let me use rest of this card up here in this court
<StoryTeller> Wizard Dude you should really cut down on caffeine
<lameKid> lol

Original joke by: Ian Edwards

Constipated

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<Wizard> but seriously, you should have seen that!
<lameKid> well I missed it, but I can imagine 😀
<StoryTeller> duh, IDGAC about that
<lameKid> what’s IDGAC?
<StoryTeller> I don’t give a crap
<lameKid> why? :S
<Wizard> lK ST ko qabz hogaya hay 😛
<lameKid> lol now that’s lame!!

So what happens next?

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<lameKid> So what do you think about YPP?
<StoryTeller> Salman will definitely win
<Wizard> most probably
<lameKid> But there is nothing to win, who so ever gets selected by voting will be working for Pakistan, and if he works with his full heart it will be a win for Pakistan
<Wizard> well that’s a good idea, lets put personal gains and favoritism aside and think about the country first
<lameKid> isn’t that the whole point of this show?
<StoryTeller> well kind of
<StoryTeller> so what were you talking about
<lameKid> I meant do you think they will get to do more shows?
<lameKid> and more importantly do you think they will do what people are expecting now?
<lameKid> or it’s just talk talk no walk?
<StoryTeller> achay sawalat hain
<Wizard> they can’t be answered that easily
<Wizard> we will have to wait and watch
<lameKid> I already know that, but phir bhi what do you guys think
<StoryTeller> seriously it’s too early to say anything
* Wizard quit (Ping timeout)
<lameKid> chalo Wizard ki to batti gul hogayee
<StoryTeller> gul 😛 aaj kal bara gul gul kar raha hay 😛
<lameKid> abay ja bhai aik baar baat kia karli g-girl se tum to peeche hee par gaye :/
* StoryTeller quit (Quit: haan bhai ab to yaheeh kahoge :P)

correct yet useless answer

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<Guest-3356> aur, aap loag kahan rehte ho?
<Wizard> Garden West
<Guest-3356> yeh kidher hay?
<Wizard> Garden East east main hay, aur Garden West west main hay
<lameKid> lol
<StoryTeller> dimagh chal ria hay tera

Quaid, Firefighters and us

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This is supposed to be a very short post Because I don’t have much to say
I really hope that I can think of something better and write more but I guess I am not good at this so I will simply include some chat logs

<Wizard> Quaid-e-Azam ki wajah se Pakistan Aazaad howa aur logon ne unhain hee bhula dia
<StoryTeller> He was the leader, but saying he is the sole responsible for our freedom is not true many people sacrificed there lives and even children for Azadi
<Wizard> okay but why do we have to neglect our leader’s birthday?
<StoryTeller> I guess not giving a public holiday is fine but there should be programs and events organized to honor him
<Wizard> Bhai, for 27th they have arranged FREE Bus Ride from anywhere to Larkana everywhere I go people asking “Tum larkana jarahay ho?”, media per har taraf yaheeh hay news channels per news se ziada is din ki baat horahee hay
<Wizard> Who is paying for all that? the tax-payers?
<StoryTeller> But how many actually pay tax?
<Wizard> If they stop wasting tax money on Shadi in PM House and Such events and if people can see that there hard-earned cash is utilized properly THEY WILL PAY TAX
<StoryTeller> nah
<Wizard> Khair that’s not the point the point is that we have neglected the nation’s leader, but we are remembering a martyred party leader in a very huuuge way, Liaquat Ali Khan was martyred as well we don’t remember him like this so why 27 has to be an exception?
<lameKid> and no one talked about several fire fighters who died at Ghakar Plaza sukker
<Wizard> yes, they are the heroes they died while trying to save others
<StoryTeller> but 27 is for remembering a hero too
<Wizard> Yes, but why only 27th Why not 25th, why not salute the heroes of 23rd December? Why not honor those who sacrificed there lives in the three wars?
<StoryTeller> hmm saheeh baat hay yaar
<lameKid> itna kharcha event per kia gaya, media coverage, free bus rides, everything but nothing for heroes of 23rd december, OR Quaid
<lameKid> even jo compensation announce ki gayee hain unhain un ke relatives tak pohanchne main pata naheen kitna time lage, kitne dhakke khane paren unhain
<StoryTeller> pohanche bhi ya naheen who knows
<Wizard> sad

I am not against anything or anyone 27th is definitely for a hero, a great leader but we shouldn’t neglect others as well

There is a song being played by Najam Shiraz on TheMusik etc today most probably it is dedicated to this date it has a line/verse: “Hum koi shahadat bhoolay naheen bhoolay naheen Mitti ki mohabbat bhoolay naheen”

I just wish that it was true

-Salman

drawing

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<lameKid> I just won a drawing competition
<Wizard> huh? but you can’t draw
<lameKid> I know!! but I still won 😀
<Wizard> hmm
<StoryTeller> what kind of a competition was that?
<lameKid> a simple one
<StoryTeller> I mean rules etc?
<lameKid> ah there was just one rule “Draw anything, it can be anything simple but your drawing should be faultless”
<StoryTeller> and you still won?
<Wizard> tumne kia banaya?
<lameKid> dabba :>
<StoryTeller> lol

Dino Ali – Suno Zara

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<Wizard> what is it?
<StoryTeller> it’s supposed to be a music album
<Wizard> oh so who is the singer?
<StoryTeller> Dino Ali
<Wizard> but he is not a singer
<StoryTeller> apparently — he is a pathetic one but he is
<Wizard> aah link?
<StoryTeller> You really want to listen? :S
<Wizard> yeah, why not?
<lameKid> my ears are bleeding now DAMN
<Wizard> lK why?
<lameKid> I just listened to his song on youtube DAMN
<StoryTeller> that’s what I meant wizard 😛
<Wizard> is it that bad?
<StoryTeller> err okay go listen: http://dacoolsite.com/songs/Pakistani_Pop_Albums/Dino_Ali/Suno_Zara_(2008)/

around 30 minutes later

* Wizard quit (Quit: )

later that day:

* Wizard joins #chat
<Wizard> DAMMMN
<Wizard>
<Wizard> you ain’t going to say “told you?”
<lameKid> no, why will I say that? 😛
<Wizard> BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS DO?
<lameKid> lol fine, “told you :P”
<StoryTeller> Wizard try Jimmy Attre as well 😛
<lameKid> haha Akaile kaheen na jaana zamana najuk hay 😛
<Wizard> no thanks, I have suffered enough for today

Greetings

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<Wizard> Yaar, I was wondering
<StoryTeller> me too
<lameKid> me three
<Wizard> shaap, let me complete
<StoryTeller> bako bako
<Wizard> I was wondering, SK never wishes anyone on birthdays, eid, etc
<lameKid> so?
<Wizard> I mean it’s weird
<StoryTeller> well now that you mention it he never said “Congrats” when I got married
<Wizard> Yeah but that’s obvious, whats not obvious is that he never said “aah, well best of luck” to you when you get married
<StoryTeller> lame joke :/
<lameKid> hah no need to hide ST you so want to say ell oh ell 😛
<StoryTeller> tujhay to acha lagega hee [translate: You will obviously like it]
<StoryTeller> tere nick main hee lame hay [translate: Your nickname has LAME written all over it]
<Wizard> Yeah but seriously, shadi ke lye “congrats” banta hee naheen
<lameKid> “Sorry, I didn’t know” banta hay ST ki shadi per to 😛
<StoryTeller> tumhari bhabhi idher hee hay dhian se
<lameKid> so you agree? 😛
<Wizard> he has no issues with that!? lol
<Wizard> that must get to bhabhi now lol
<lameKid> sending SMS now
<lameKid> “bhabhi read ST’s screen – LK” 😛
<lameKid> SMS sent
<Wizard> oh boy this ought to prove interesting
* lameKid quits (Killed by StoryTeller)
* StoryTeller (Quit: Wizard marwa dia k)

Airplane Repair Logs

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Some entries from the mechanics’ logs of repairs done on airplanes:

Discrepancy: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement”
Corrective Action: “Almost replaced left inside main tire”

Discrepancy: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough”
Corrective Action: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft”

Discrepancy: “Something loose in cockpit”
Corrective Action: “Something tightened in cockpit”

Discrepancy: “Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear”
Corrective Action: “Evidence removed”

Gola Ganda

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<StoryTeller> Did you guys hear?
<lameKid> ST, when will you learn? we are thousands mile apart, and we are on text-based IRC we can’t hear what you are hearing right now
<StoryTeller> abay gadhay
<lameKid> badtameezi na karo, bhabhi ko email kardene hain tumhare logs
<Wizard> gola ganda anyone?
<StoryTeller> what’s a gola ganda?
<lameKid> you don’t know gola ganda?
<StoryTeller> no
<Wizard> pehle aik gandi dandi lo
<Wizard> uspe baraf ka gola bana ke lagao
<Wizard> phir sachrine wali teen chaar sharbatain dalo usper
<Wizard> aur aakhir main woh yellow wali thick see cheez
<lameKid> err I just lost my apetite
<lameKid> comelle :@
<Wizard> kia comelle?
<lameKid> that yellow wali thick see cheez is called Comelle!! err brb
<Wizard> what what did I say?
<StoryTeller> well not much, but that description is surely enough to convince people
<Wizard> convince about what?
<lameKid> that you are a WEIRDO!
<StoryTeller> yaheeh ke tum weirdo ho
<lameKid> jinxed! lol
<StoryTeller> stop watching disney tv lamer :p