Sometimes being an introvert is useful, you save yourself from guaranteed embarrassments, but otherwise it just keeps getting on your nerves.

Maybe it’s not that bad for regular folks, but for me it’s very disturbing.. There are various things that I think I am not good at so I never try them, so I don’t even get to know if I was right about my assumption or not.

I always think and re-think and re-think over everything I do, and sometimes most of the time after all that thinking I just don’t feel like doing whatever I was thinking about.

There were times when, I wanted to say “oh just shutup”, but instead I smiled and quitely listened. But here is the twist, I don’t regret that. I think that was one of the best things that this introvert thing gave me.. it made me a person who can bear criticsm doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative.

Appearances can be deceiving, I don’t remember where I read that.. but I realized that when I first analyzed myself. Most of the times when something is happening around me I appear totally unaware of it, but it’s not always true. At those times I am thinking, as I said above I am thinking and re-thinking about what should I do, what should I say and then I just won’t do or say whatever I was thinking about.

Sometimes I think I am thinking too much (I think I have said that before too..) <– see just like that, I keep thinking and re-thinking over what I said, what I will say and it just mess up everything.

Khair, I assume it has done more right then wrongs for me, so I am not really trying to change this, but I am trying to improve myself. I am trying to be more outspoken, more fluent while conversing..

It’s January 2009, I will re-visit this topic later in the year to see how well things are with my tries in this regard

-Salman

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میں اگر بہت اچھا طالبِعلم نہیں تھا تو بہت زیادہ برا بھی نہیں تھا۔ پھر کیا ہوا کہ آج میں اِنٹر میں پھنسا ہوں؟

کوئی وجہ نہیں، کوئی ٹھوس وجہ تو بالکل بھی نہیں، پر ابھی بھی کچھ دیر نہیں ہوئی، اگر صحت اور ہمارے “استاد صاحب” نے ساتھہ دیا تو انشاءاللہ اس سال انٹر دینے کے بعد پڑھائی جاری رکھیں گے۔ تاکہ آئیندہ کوئی پوچھے تو یہ تو کہ سکیں کی کام جاری ہے :]۔

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