Random enough to be declared weird.

Posts Tagged ‘Thoughts’

Chehra

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شائد ہر انسان کی زندگی میں کبھی نا کبھی ایک وقت ایسا آتا ہے، جب اُسّے احساس ہوتا ہے کہ اسکی یادّاشت میں موجود سینکڑوں چہروں میں سے ایک چہرہ ایسا بھی ہے جو اس کو بند آنکھوں سے بھی نظر آتا ہے۔ جو اسوقت بھی قریب نظر آتا ہے جب وہ چہرہ درحقیقت اس سے دور ہو۔ ایک چہرہ جو اسکی گہری نیند کی تاریکی کو بھی چیر کے خوابوں کے پردے پر نظر آتا ہے۔

کچھ لوگوں کی خواہش ہوتی ہے کہ یہ چہرہ آنکھہ کھولنے پر بھی ان کے سامنے ہو۔ ان کے نذدیک ہو۔ اور انہیں اتنی ہی محبت سے دیکھہ رہا ہو جتنی محبت سے وہ اس چہرے کے بارے میں سوچ رہے تھے۔

اِس کے برعکس کچھ لوگ ایسے بھی ہیں جن کے لئے سب سے اہم بس یہ ہوتا ہے کہ یہ چہرہ  جہاں بھی ہو، ان کے پاس ان سے دور، نیند میں ہو یا بیدار، بس خوش ہو۔ بہت خوش ہو۔ اس سے زیادہ نہ تو وہ کچھہ چاہتے ہیں، نا ہی اس سے زیادہ کی کبھی دعا کرتے ہیں۔

مجھے نہیں پتا کے ان دونوں میں سے کون سے لوگ زیادہ بہتر ہیں، وہ جو بس اس چہرے کو خوش دیکھنا چاہتے ہیں، یا وہ جو اس چہرے کو صرف اپنے ساتھہ خوش دیکھنا چاہتے ہیں۔

آپ کیا کہتے ہیں؟

سلمان

Introvertism

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As I said last time I know how it feels when you want to say something but you can’t, it sucks it sucks big time

Sometimes being an introvert is useful, you save yourself from guaranteed embarrassments, but otherwise it just keeps getting on your nerves

Maybe it’s not that bad for regular folks, but for me it’s very disturbing There are various things that I think I am not good at so I never try them, so I don’t even get to know if I was right about my assumption or not

I always think and re-think and re-think over everything I do, and sometimes most of the time after all that thinking I just don’t feel like doing whatever I was thinking about

There were times when, I wanted to say “oh just shutup”, but instead I smiled and quitely listened But here is the twist, I don’t regret that I think that was one of the best things that this introvert thing gave me it made me a person who can bear criticsm doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative

Appearances can be deceiving, I don’t remember where I read that but I realized that when I first analyzed myself Most of the times when something is happening around me I appear totally unaware of it, but it’s not always true At those times I am thinking, as I said above I am thinking and re-thinking about what should I do, what should I say and then I just won’t do or say whatever I was thinking about

Sometimes I think I am thinking too much (I think I have said that before too) <– see just like that, I keep thinking and re-thinking over what I said, what I will say and it just mess up everything

Khair, I assume it has done more right then wrongs for me, so I am not really trying to change this, but I am trying to improve myself I am trying to be more outspoken, more fluent while conversing

It’s January 2009, I will re-visit this topic later in the year to see how well things are with my tries in this regard 😛

-Salman

Random rant

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[rant]I knew ke aisa hee hoga per shayad main khud bhi yaheeh chahta tha ke aisay na ho main chahta tha ke is baar main ghalat sabit hoon aur main abhi bhi chahta hoon ke meri intuitions ghalat sabit hoon

kion? kionke wohee behter hoga maire lye sab kelye per mujhay naheen lagta ke main ghalat sabit honga

it will be very difficult but not impossible, but everyone of us would say after a few months “only if it hasn’t happened, only if it was avoidable” but today’s fact is it’s not avoidable it cannot be ignored

I so wish that this is solved in a nice and comfortable manner but it’s hard to see how

I thought if he was alive today he would’ve managed this without any problems this makes me feel more bad about this situation I can’t manage it myself I can’t control, I can’t confront I have never been bothered by the “weak” feel that comes from inside whenever I have to see such issue but this might be the first issue that I have to manage myself and this weakening is unbearable[/rant]